Responding to Depression

I hesitate to tackle this subject. Any one with an ounce of sensitivity should too. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it, even while I'm on vacation. Longing to find some meaning in it all. Trying not to be thrown this way or that by all the opinions and posts flying around about the death of Robin Williams this past week.

As I read through articles on depression and suicide, a couple of questions surface especially among Christian circles: Is it a disease or a choice? Are people with depression issues victims or just selfish? 

I have to wonder: is now really the best time to be deciding our beliefs and opinions surrounding these issues?  

I mean, celebrity or not, a human life just ceased to exist from our reality. And what's more is that it happens everyday, probably every minute. Death is part of life. Life as we know it is fallen and not fair. Depressed, anxious, plagued people are everywhere. Not just on TV, but passing us on the street, perusing our Facebook, serving us our coffee and maybe even sleeping in our bed every night. 

And you might not ever even have a clue because that's the nature of the beast. Isolation is the name of the game for some. For the brave souls who choose not to hide, I hope they are met with grace and understanding. I hope the person who responds to them doesn't think about how depression scares them, but looks straight into the eyes of the person in front of them. That they would take into consideration that maybe this person's experience is outside the scope of their own.

I've read too many opinions and too many angry comments. I'm not going to plug my own experience with depression or my opinion about it. And quite honestly I'm not sure what it is quite yet. I'm still figuring it out. 

I'm not a fan of blanket statements. There are so many factors that play into depression and mental illness. Factors like personality type, what kind of home you grew up in, what you have learned about the issue, what kind of support system surrounds you, general health and spirituality, on and on it goes. And it varies from case to case. Depression is complicated because people are complicated. 

Am I the only one guilty of trying to sum up the problems of the world because it makes me feel in control? 

My brand of faith is often known for being narrow minded and insensitive in tragic situations. Not all, but some. I know have been in times past. I'm not proud of that. Now, I try not to be quick to judge or draw a thick black line down the middle. Because I'm not that smart and maybe I don't want to be. 

Maybe I'm just going to focus on what I do know instead of trying to figure out what makes people tick. Here's what I do know: people need each other. They don't need an opinion or a bible verse or for you to react out of your own fear or awkwardness. They might just need you to sit beside them and be real. 

To listen. 

To be sad. 

To be honest about your own pain and questions. 

To be quiet. 

This isn't a new message or even really that profound. It's actually pretty simple. So instead of searching frantically to grab ahold of a belief about life and suicide and death and depression, I'm just going to look at those around me. I'm not going to pretend I have the answers but I'll be available. I'll try on empathy. I'll be like Jesus when he wept over his friend and not try to weed out all the so called sin in the world as if this was my job. 

And I'm going to look at myself. I'm going to be honest about when I feel like world is closing in or when I need a counselor or a friend. I'm going to make that call and not give into the lie of isolation. And I'm not going to let people make me feel weird about it. So I'm not happy all the time and I don't always cope perfectly. I haven't met a human that does yet. If you meet one, let me know.

And I'm not talking about skipping out on truth telling. There is a time and a place for all of that. I want to be the person who knows when and where that is. I want to weigh my words carefully and my motives even more carefully.

Then there is this cursor blinking at me, telling me to say something more. But in the spirit of this post and because I value white space, I won't. Because I don't really know what else to say and I'm ok with that. I hope you are too.